Category: Personal

A Love Letter to Money

On November 1, 2022

In Abundance, Introspection, Personal, Uncategorized

Dear Money

I appreciate you for who you are, and I am sorry for taking your name in vane, curse or disdain. I have always been fascinated with you, and for a long time we have a mutual attraction. Growing up, I never felt that I did not have enough money to cover my exuberant lifestyle. I started counting you when I was just a little kid – spending shop time in the cash registry counting coins in Dads paint store. He did not find the same fascination with you as I did. Or so it seemed. You were shining, aged, newly minted, wrinkled, memorable. To me you represented great fortune, with the face of Kong Harald, the King of Norway, adoring every single one of your perfectly round mints. I counted, stacked, spread out and weighed you in my full awe and appreciation.

When I grew older, I started to count on Money. I knew you could do wonders for my hobbies, for my weekends, for my self-esteem and outwards look. With you in my hand, I could get wisdom and vices through books and booze. For wisdom I could always borrow a book. But the difference between buying a book and loaning it at the library was like heaven and hell. No return date, no restrictions. I could doodle, highlight, even rip out pages. For vices, you were so pliable. Cigarettes, beers, herbs or speeding. Anything could be had, anything could be paid off. Dear Money – you offered me freedoms that that I loved, and freedoms I abused.

You were always so easy, always available. You were my most loyal friend with benefit. And I probably took advantage of you from time to time. I spread myself thin for you. I forwent my education for you. I made myself sick for you. But how could you know. It was I who did all these things. You only came to me when I called for you. When I look back at my late teens and my early twenties, I see materialism, escapism, addiction and shamelessness. I look back not in shame, but with an open and forgiving heart. Not for you, but for myself. So you know – you have nothing to be forgiven. It was me and my folly who got me into that mess. And I want to ask your forgiveness for dragging you into it.

We used to have a very intimate relationship you and I. I studied you, I played with you, and I worked with you. Day and night, every day of the week we were deep in the books, ledgers or computer programs balancing the act of debit and credit. My job was to be a gatekeeper to you. I was Julius Cæsar sitting on my high chair deciding whether or not people were worthy of getting lines of credit. This position always felt a bit awkward, to be honest. I was like the Hindu goddess Kali, deciding peoples fate. My line of work was consumer loans, so the fate was more or less consumption. More or less money in the bank. More or less money for the bank. We played well together, I was highly praised for my judgement. I was even offered a promotion to the finance department. But it was our time to part.

It is my understanding that our relationship changed when I went on a long trip. Before I had worked day and night to save up money. Enough to take me from Norway and back through the jungles of South America, over the volcanoes of Central America and onto the islands of the Caribbean. I was a blessed half year with tremendous learning, insights, encounters and revelations. All made possible with the blessed assistance of you. I did not much have to worry about money, budgets or limitations. When I finally expended all my money I called my mother to borrow some more. I had never learned the limits of money. I had never respected you the way I should.

When I returned from the trip I was without you, and I went to Copenhagen to study you some more. Here I did not find you so accessible anymore. Something must have changed on my long trip, because I did not care that much for material stuff anymore. I did not enjoy consuming the way I used to. I did not use you the way had. I tried calling on you, but you did not answer me like you had before. I kept relying on my parents for you. I could not for the life of me regain a steady access to you anymore. Here and there I was luck to pick you up. But I was not geared to play your games anymore. I had built up a resentment towards you. I blamed you for all my vices, for my mishaps and my addictions. I probably called you names you never deserved. I cursed you for being so easy, so pliable, so open and enabling. But of course, it was not you. It was me. You were only being you, and I was mindlessly misusing you.

We had many years apart, scarcely seeing each other. My relationship with you affected not just myself, but also my relationships. My perceived lack of you made me access you through friends and loved one’s. Because of this you got into an uncomfortable position. Carrying negative energy between myself and the people I cared about, dragging them into my loathing of yourself. In reality I loathed myself. I learned a lot from this period in my life. I learned a new way to cook, a simpler way. The way of all the people that does not have such an intimate relationship with you. I learned to enjoy other aspects of reality, where you are not required to open doors, stay on course and being returned home safe and sound. It taught me to take more responsibility of myself. And finally, it taught me to respect you again, so that you would step into my life again.

Because Money, you are the most wonderful thing. When you are allowed to be yourself, you light up the skies, you open my eyes, you taste so nice. When I deal with you respectfully, consciously and intentionally, you allow me to be the best version of myself. You facilitate the spreading of love and high vibrations. You give unrelentingly and non-discriminatory. You are of service to each and every one of us, accessible limitlessly.

Today I ask you once again, most humbly, to help me out. I am finally ready for you, for what feels like the first time in my life. I will treat you right, not call on you day and night. Simply let your marvelous frequencies bath my reality from now until my light goes out. I have so many things I want to accomplish with you, so many beautiful things we can build, and serve and surprise the world with. I will be your biggest fan, and you most trusted custodian. I will never take you name in vane again. And if I do, know that it is me, and not you. I apologize Now for what has been, what is and what will be that is not of the highest good for all.

Bless you money for being so abundant in my life.

Good morning V

By Daniel

On November 1, 2022

In Faith, Health, Introspection, Personal

This is a telegram message that I sent this morning to my dear friend Valentyn.

I am grateful for your process, for you to lean into it and working so diligently with the discovery of what and who and where and who and how you truly are. It takes a lot of courage and a lot of awareness. Big kudos to you for doing this! For yourself and for everyone else as well.Being honest with ourselves. It’s so vital. And it can be so daunting. We peel the layers of the ego, foregoing instant gratifications and ego stroking in the process. We set ourselves up to feel our real selves.

I feel I’m in the same process myself, so I am partly writing this to a mirror it feels. Giving myself some pep talk. I have some things I’m dealing with these days. Some blockages, some internal stubbornness. And I am so grateful that I have had cultivated some silent practice, some movement practice and some diet practice beforehand. Because it is now carrying my vibrational state. Taking care of my soul and spirit while it is wandering to find the way forward. The hardest part is letting go, not taking part (Coldplay line, feels so true). To not engage in the rummaging in the astral field to find the timeline/reality where there is a viable way forward. It’s about faith.
That when I am true to myself, there will be a way forward. And it’s more glorious than I can imagine. So I better imagine glorious things beyond my wildest dreams. Because it will be that and so much more. All I need is faith, patience, dedication and honesty.

Dear V – thank you for opening this portal for me. Your efforts are paying dividends, they are creating ripples of goodness. Keep bobbing along, making waves, spreading love, while gaining that deep understand of yourself. I salute your soul, I recognize the highest good in you, and I thank you for sharing it with me 🙏

The Amazing Flush – Day 1

By Daniel

On October 21, 2022

In Books, Health, Personal

This is the first of a series of posts I will write over the next 10 days about Andreas Moritz’ ‘Amazing Liver & Gallbladder Flush. This is a “powerful DIY tool to optimize your health and wellbeing”, first published in book form in 1998. I will get more into Andreas Moritz in another post, but for now let’s say he’s a holistic health pioneer with background in ayurvedic principles with a dash of shiatsu.

I have the whole day of Tuesday and Wednesday next week set aside (25th and 26th of October, 2022 on the Gregorian calendar) to complete the amazing liver and gallbladder flush. The special day consist of fasting for most of the day. Then in the evening I will enjoy a few good servings of laxative (Epsom salts) followed by a glass of grapefruit juice mixed with extra virgin olive oil. When all is down, I will go rapidly to sleep and let the body do some magic. By noon the next day I expect to have removed hundreds, if not thousands, of small green gall balls from my liver (I will make sure to take pictures).

In the following posts I will share different aspects of the flush, such as:

Experience during the cleanse and actual flush
Recommendations for diet and purchases
After-effects and final report
Some information about Andreas Moritz and his work

How I ended up here:
About a month ago I met up with dear friends in Copenhagen for a weekend of socializing, nerding on esoteric topics, sharing of life experiences and share some meals and baguettes. During this trip most of my group of friends finally had the pleasure of meeting a legendary figure in our reality – namely an outspoken Telegram user called Cryptic Mystic. CM (for short) had filled our minds with elaborate conspiracy theories and long rants about anything from finance, alternative history to crypto trading and the functioning of cells – both electrical and biological.

This meeting was certainly eventful, coinciding with a Nerd Night event at Greencubator – a full Saturday evening and night of panel debates on crypto, equality, shifting world orders, and other juicy topics. CM and myself had gone down many rabbit holes already, and during the event I suggested to him that we go in the backroom and complete 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing. He was down with this, and so we laid down on top of some desks, in our suit and tie, and spent the next 11 minutes alternating between hyperventilation and breath hodl. After this, especially CM felt a shift in his physical being, as if his body was starting to re-align. The processes of bringing the body back to homeostasis has begun. A few days later, before CM was heading to the airport, we met up again, this time I had the honor of serving CM rapé for the first time in this lifetime. And this amplified his experience of realignment from a few days hence.

Both myself and CM is in this picture (credit: Rasa Misiunaite)

And so our collaboration of further exploring health and vitality was forged, and in the ensuing days and weeks we shared more modalities of realignment. One that came up, and that I had considered was an extensive liver- and gallbladder flush, first encountered on a Telegram group called Henna Maria. This protocol is based on the work of Andreas Moritz, and it immediately spoke to me. After talking with dear friend, Leo, who’s a holistic health practitioner, he shared that autumn is the season for the liver, according to Chinese medicine. And so we agreed, CM and I, that on the coming New Moon we will perform our first ever liver and gallbladder cleanse.

Thank you for reading, and following the amazing flush journey.

Asking for help

By Daniel

On October 9, 2022

In Faith, Introspection, Personal

I have been stubbornly convincing myself that I must solve everything myself. And then I blame the world for putting me in this position. If anyone, I put myself here.

I tend to take on the weight of the world on my shoulders. Not because anyone asked me. I guess I do it because I feel that’s what I’m supposed to. It’s a program. I’ve installed it quite uncritically, and it’s ruling my life, my reality. It manifests in a way that when things get tough, I usually just work harder. I hustle and grind, lock myself in, and take on a tunnel vision. This is not a productive tunnel vision of clear focus and determination. It’s more like the fog of war – I initiate many different things, but never see them to completion. I don’t take time to prioritize what is for now, and what is for later. I completely forget what is important and what is urgent – so easily distinguishable through the Eisenhower Matrix (more on this wonderful model in a later post).

This program is a perfect recipe for burnout and self-loathing. Instead of taking a moment to assert myself that I am worthy of love, that I am always good enough, and that whatever happens, I will be okay, I start judging others for adding to my burdens. Of course, there are no-one but myself who are adding to my burdens. I am the master of my fate. After all, I am a living man with sovereign faculties of choice. When I forget my innate faculties, I start getting a sore neck and shoulders. It usually starts in the uppermost vertebrate, which is called the atlas disk. The name derives from atlas, who is the Greek good carrying the world on his shoulders. This is me and the role I assume; and I bear the consequences quite fitting for my self-chosen misery.

Now I am here, again, with a bit of a sore neck and the feeling of the weight of the world on my shoulders. There is what feels like a ton of work on my plate. My wife is sick, our daughter so full of energy. We have little revenue in the business, and we have few liquid assets. It feels like the abyss is slowly approaching, and my helplessness is starting to surge. It’s time to make inventory of my tools and lifelines. I have this writing exercise to help me out. It’s quite therapeutic. It helps me sort my thoughts and get some perspective. We also have my parents-in-law visiting this weekend. They have been wonderful in hanging out with their granddaughter. That’s a huge help, for sure. I also have my own family to call upon, however this relationship needs a lot of care and attention before I trust enough to open. I have Sami, a master shaman I am working with who is always supportive in this soul growth adventure. I also have friends I know I can call upon. They can listen, come with suggestions, be a shoulder to cry on. If not literally, then at least figuratively – I haven’t managed to cry for years (and that’s a topic for another post down the line).

I have many lifelines out there. I know this in my heart, and I rejoice. The burden already feels much more manageable thinking of all that I have. However, I don’t know what to ask for help with. And I generally don’t feel confident asking for someone’s help. It could be so little as asking someone to hold the door. I’d rather just do it myself. Of course, it requires clarity for myself to know what I need help with. I don’t expect someone else to know if I don’t know myself. Maybe I should, because I could ask someone to coach me, and I will find the answers within. Then there is also some vulnerability involved with asking for someone’s help. I believe that I need to open my heart and show my true self for someone to truly being able to help me. And again, that is me creating expectations of what others can and cannot do. Opening up is at least where I have the most fear and doubt. Because opening up goes against the program I have installed. It’s a system overwrite. My alarm bells go off. I retreat to judging others as not worthy of helping me, and me not being worthy of others’ help. It’s a catch-22.

A way forward is faith and trust. Not just in myself – I need to trust that others are able to help me. And I need to have faith that I am worthy of their help. For me, trusting is scary, but I know it’s the direction I need to go. As for right now, I have reached a place of equanimity. I managed that through this writing exercise. I’ve found a way to break the spell and initiate some change. As the saying goes – all change starts with the self. I will start by looking within, find silence and connect with my Higher Self. From this place of silence, I’ll have access to more trust and faith which I suspect will manifest in more opportunities. Because I can give more fully of myself and hence receive more fully in return. I will try to put down the weight of the world. When I finally do, I can spread my wings and soar to new heights. Fly on the wings of love.

My life as a consumer

By Daniel

On October 8, 2022

In Books, Personal, Writing

Two days ago, I posted my first in a series of daily written pieces for the coming month. I got a question that I’d like to follow up on. What is a content creator, and why do I want to assume this role?

My name is Daniel and I’m a consumer. Take books for example. My whole life has been a love affair with books. From Astrid Lindgren to the Hardy Boys to Lord of the Rings and Thinking Fast and Slow. I’ve devoured thousands and thousands of pages. Surely not all has been great reads – I’ve dumped a lot of books. Some books kept me up all night – like the Harry Potter series. I simply could not put them down and go to sleep. I remember one morning my mother entered my room to wake me up. I was already awake halfway out the bed, reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. At least that’s what she thought; I actually never made it to my pillow the night before having literally spent all night on the edge of my bed reading.

This mode of complete absorption has often been my attitude towards reading, and content consumption in general. Come to think of it, this actually applies to my consumption in general. When I find something that I like, I don’t tend to stop. I’ve enjoyed much of what 3D life has to offer – some might say I’ve had a hedonistic tendency. This is not some sort of bragging; it’s just stating the facts and owning up to it. In full honest, I would rather not have pursued all these tendencies. I think my life would be a richer and more balanced today if I had not let myself go in the drive for more money, drinks, countries, and world wonders. On paper I have done so much, seen it all. My online life is filled with friends from around the world and all walks of life. I would not be without it, but I could. For better and for worse, I count myself luckily to be alive to tell the tale of my life.

What I am getting at here, is that I have generally been a consumer, and a very greedy one at that. I am currently in the process of changing life lanes. I have made a commitment to develop my creative side rather than my consuming side. This commitment is part of my self-work, my soul growth. Ultimately, I feel called to help others grow in meaningful ways, which starts with the self. That’s why I’ve made this calling the foundation of my business offering, and why I’ve started engaging with this writing exercise.

To bring this rambling back to the topic of this text; what is a ‘content creator’ anyways?
To me, a content creator is someone who makes memes, writes text, records videos, etc. An additional quality of content these days is that it’s easy to share and consume. That covers the ‘What and How’. However, the interesting part for me is the ‘Why’. Here I am, writing a piece of text every day. Why? For me, it’s a creative outlet. I’ve been an avid consumer all my life. I have so much perspective, thoughts and experience built up inside. I have a passion to share. So now I am trying out this text thing, because I find it enjoyable and developing. It’s also a way for me to be more vulnerable, as well as getting in the habit of more structured work. I’ve tried writing before, but never committed to it. This is my commitment: Every day for 30 days I will write something that needs to be released. If anything resonates with you, I’d love to hear it. Thank you for your consumption.

Making a fuss for next to nothing

By Daniel

On October 7, 2022

In Childhood, Personal

Growing up on the Norwegian countryside, in a very conservative town, lent itself to many challenges for a young and explorative mind.

When I was a kid, I was a handful in the classroom. I did not particularly like to sit still, and I seldom found the course load particularly interesting nor challenging. I was good at doing my homework, and thus seldom fell behind. My teachers were of the ‘old school’, averaging over 50 years for most of my primary school teachers. They had seen their fair share of troublemakers and knew that though discipline was the most effective remedy. If I didn’t find my groove, at least I’d be sanded down in the process so as to create less friction in their structured teachings. At the very least, they had ‘done their part’ and could possibly send me off to some special needs program.

However, I never really got sanded down, and discipline was not for me at the time. It came to boiling points many times, as my wit and cunning was hard to grasp for some of the teachers. Quite a few times from the age of 6 to 12 I was violently grappled and shaken by teachers who found my presence and attitude so hard to handle that they lost a handle on themselves. I remember once in particular that my English teacher brought me outside the classroom to tell me off. He had tried to corner me with checking our homework, to find some ground to ground me. He assaulted me with difficult glossary, of which I sparred off easily. He proceeded to bring me outside the classroom, where he lifted me up from my armpits and shook me up against the wall while hissing at me: “If it was not for you being so smart, I would have toppled you a long time ago”.

Thinking back on this and many similar experiences though my school life, I laugh, and I cry inside. Because I loved to go to school, play football, hang out with friends, run after girls, go hiking in the Norwegian forest and learn about mathematics, physics, reading books, and much more. I also highly enjoyed being on edge with the teachers, finding their soft spots and test their limits of sanity. And this is a paradox to me that I am still grappling with to this day. How come a student like me found it so difficult to fit in to the system, and why was the system so rigid as to miss the opportunity that I, being myself, presented.

I’ve found that all the teachers I had that I really enjoyed, that I looked up to and found inspiration in were teachers that were also students in some aspects of life. They were still evolving, still exploring, never settling for a specific truth or conviction. They had multiple interests, and they offered to share them with us to give us a wider perspective of life. I’ve taken these qualities to heart and tried to discard the rest. Part of that is writing about it here. I know there are many aspects from my childhood that I’ve blinded myself to. I can barely remember any of it, apart from glimpses of episodes in school, sports or play where I’ve fucked up and awaiting punishment. I am ready to let go, thank you for reading this!

I assume the creator role

By Daniel

On October 6, 2022

In Personal, Writing

For many years I’ve contemplated what and when my content creator role would be revealed. It’s now – today I take ownership of my life’s purpose. I am ready to soar.

I have always enjoyed writing texts. It was one of the main skills that landed me my exquisite wife. At least that’s what I tend to convince myself with. I remember many years ago I listened to a podcast where Seth Godin was a guest. He said that he started his book writing career by blogging. He committed himself to writing a blog post every day, and no matter how he felt, he would churn some nugget, big or small, out to his fans. At the start, there were not many fans of course.

I am in a similar position today. I don’t have to many fans, I don’t have enough clients in my business to makes ends meet, and I don’t particularly know how I will get them. I have no fear or doubt that they are there, and that they will come. I have a few solid clients who are loyal and willing to stick with me as I try my way around productising my offering. And I have lots and lots of people in my network who I know can vouch for my skills, my value creation and my personal commitment.

I am now at a cross-roads where I see myself beginning from scratch in a sense. I will try to drop all my per-consived notions of what I am supposed to do, or what I like and don’t like to do. I will open up to the genius inside of me, the one and only spirit that has lifted my life to new heights every time I have been willing to surrender to my inner voice and my gift of grit, survival and adaptation.

I have a started a daily practice many times before, and today is just another day like that. I never commit for life, because that is in my eyes a recipe for failure. I will however commit to doing this every day for a month, until Nov 5th, 2022. When we reach there, I am seeing DKK 50k in recurring revenue, 31 substack posts, and a lot of learning.

I have many topics to delve into, like personal and spiritual development, physical and emotional detoxing, boundary setting, business development, traveling, parenting, yoga, breath-work, plant medicine, etc.

Follow along, and I will open my heart to you 🙏